Clearing the Decks

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For a number of years, I participated in the Handmade Valentine Exchange, a secret Santa like event where you sign up, receive a list of 10 names and addresses, make 10 valentines, mail a valentine to each of the people on your list, and wait for your 10 valentines to arrive. The ones I've received in prior years were beautiful, putting my homemade valentines to shame. Well, except one year. I really liked that woodblock card I made one year.

This year, I've been watching the signups and thinking, Oooooooo, I should sign up. I've been trying to be more deliberate with my time, choosing what I want to commit to doing so that I can do said thing well, instead of saying yes to everying and resenting the panic completion of some activities, the resentment of past Kitt saying yes to others. That whole "set boundaries" thing, but with myself. Instead of signing up for all these aspirational activities and projects, I am actively choosing what is important to me, what will make my life more fulfilling.

The downside of this saying no to all of these activities is that I haven't actually said yes to anything in a while, and that makes for a very slow, ennui-filled life.

I have a couple Christmas thank you cards to send. I figure, maybe after I've sent those, I'll be ready for something less aspirational, more actualized. We'll see.

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